Selecting My Inner Cabinet

Picture courtesy of

Picture courtesy of

Good morning and welcome. We are here today because some things are going to change. You (my Cabinet) are my confidants, my go-to guys. I go to you for everything, lean on you for knowledge and advice, and most importantly trust your ability to help lead us to victory, whatever that may be at the time.

Consider this a ‘Resource Action.’ Everyone ready? Lets get started.

Mr. Statement Maker: You’re fired. To be blunt, you are an arrogant prick. The more you “know” the less we as a team learn. You are quick to jump to conclusions, and most of time you – despite your complete confidence – are wrong. You rarely listen. As a team we simply aren’t experienced enough to have you around. People will learn what we know through observation. When your position is needed again, I’ll hire Mr. Wisdom. Get out… now.

I’ll wait.

Ok? Moving on.

Mr. Researcher: Welcome aboard. You’ll be replacing Mr. Statement Maker. I’ll need to you ask questions, and try your best to identify the difference between what we truly know and what we’re assuming. Don’t worry, there’s no such thing as a stupid question. Being the brother of Mr. Humility, I’m sure you will tread carefully to service truth to our team.

Mr. Motivation: Welcome back. Everyone knows you’ve been through a lot of shit lately; loss of a friend and a failed business, back surgery, etc. We know you’ll be one of our strongest assets.

Mr. Self Posturing: You too, are fired. Your very essence is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. We are no longer trying to be something we are not, and your manipulative nature fools us more than others. Mr. Researcher will help us determine who we want to become – but those changes will be organic. There are no quick fixes on this journey, and karma has caught up with you. Goodbye!

Mr. Rationalizer: You have done a fantastic job at making us comfortable with the status quo. You keep us safe, secure, and let us know that we are – at all times – in complete control. You’re fired.

Mr. Devil’s Advocate: You have saved us from a lot of terrible shit, including (but not limited to) career decisions, relationships, responsibility, and identifying cons when you see one. The thing is though,  you always play that position. Hell, your name is Mr. Devil’s Advocate. Knowing this, don’t let your feelings get hurt when we don’t listen to you.

Dr. Love: Your PhD in giving-a-shit-about-other-people has never failed us. Great marks all around. I’ll try to let you know you’re doing a great job more often. And for that, I’m sorry. That said, can I have you keep Mr. Devil’s Advocate in check and tell him when to shut up?

Professor Communication: You are doubtingly the most important person in my Cabinet. Without you, all of us cease to function. Be it at work, in relationships, or simply fluff talk to complete strangers – you are the transporter of information. I wanted the entire team to hear this because you are absolutely paramount to our success. If you break down for any reason, know that we are here as an immediate resource.

Gentlemen, thank you for listening. There are some new faces and new responsibilities. We’ve taken out the trash so now we have more energy for growth. There will be great triumphs. There will be terrible failures. There will be days we are in the zone, and days we simply don’t want to get with the program. All of this is natural. My dad once told me this is called ‘Life.’ But when we get to the end of the game, together we will know we’ve played our best.

So let’s get out there and learn, make mistakes, grow, work hard, love hard, and have fun along the way.

Meeting adjourned.



2 Responses to “Selecting My Inner Cabinet”

  1. Gravatar of What a Concept! » Changes, and the Fear/Danger Quadrant What a Concept! » Changes, and the Fear/Danger Quadrant
    1. November 2009 at 11:16

    […] I would naturally resist change because I don’t know whats on the other side. And while my current situation may not be optimal, its certainly better than the unknown. I’ve recently changed this assumption. […]

  2. Gravatar of Kylie Batt Kylie Batt
    3. May 2010 at 12:57

    Прошу прощения, что я вмешиваюсь, мне тоже хотелось бы высказать своё мнение….

    Good morning and welcome. We are here today because some things are going to change. You (my Cabinet) are my confidants, my go-to guys…..

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